My moms was the first person that ever schooled me on chastity belts.
I didn’t say nothing at the time, just nodded along cause I was dumb young, but my first thought was, how the fuck is a bitch supposed to piss?
I still haven’t looked that shit up and, quite frankly, don’t wanna know, the whole concept seeming so alien that if I had to chose between it and an E.T., I’d keep the E.T. confident that I could make sense outta an actual extraterrestrial before I could that shit.
Really tho: if you don’t want your ho fucking around when you’re not around, avoid dealing with hoes.
Don’t strap a ho’s box up in something you think is impenetrable.
That’ll just make her hornier.
And honestly, if you think building a wall will prevent Mexicans from pulling a Prince Akeem, what you’ll find is that shit’ll just add more adventure to the experience.
If you really don’t want Mexicans to come, levy fines against the companies that hire them once they get here.
That shit ain’t rocket science.
And I’m just some stupid nigger.
You mean to tell me that a whole nation full of people, full of overwhelmingly white people couldn’t come up with that shit on they own an save a bunch of money for themselves, Mexico, the American taxpayer and whoever the fuck else might fall under the umbrella of actually having to pay for what must be the dumbest fucking idea of all time?
I mean, Mexicans ain’t coming here to escape religious persecution, they’re coming to work, and if they can’t find work, they’ll stop coming.
Trump acts like he’s protecting pussy or something.
Like it’s Ivanka’s fine ass and… ok: that bitch turned around the other day on camera and I saw it and yep, she’s bad… they’re risking their lives, arrest and deportation tryna get some.
Nah, it’s just a landscaping gig for $10 an hour off the books.
Have I made myself clear on minimum wage?
If not, repeal that shit.
Get rid of welfare too.
401Ks can go.
So can food stamps.
All that shit.
You don’t work, you don’t eat.
Let’s see who’s lazy now.
But you do all that shit after you fine businesses, corporations, shit, even individuals who hire and for hiring illegal workers.
Now, instead of spending money on a wall, you’ve put away a nice little piece of change in fine money.
Also, with no more minimum wage, not only will prices fall, but employers will have no excuse not to hire niggers, ex-cons, people that fucked up by getting Fine Arts degrees and whoever else applies and just wants to work – which will be everybody that wants to eat.
Also, also, we’d have something that’s a lot closer to what we pretend to have now; a free market economy.
You wouldn’t have some jackass(es) regulating prices and wages but rather people who straight up said, I won’t pay that much for that and/or I won’t work for that kinda chump change.
And while, truth be told, you’d always find some people that would be willing to do one, the other, or both, both prices and wages would eventually fix and set themselves.
You got kids or geezers at home to take care of?
Get out, get your ass in the fields and work.
Stop being shamed by Mexicans and whoever the fuck else is coming here and outhustling us.
That means we was once, and is about to be great again.