Scientist Says Kanye Will Leave Kim

Recently, I again sat down with Dr. Pangloss Benway of the Vienna School of Medical Design whose forthcoming book, Becoming & Unbecoming Kanye is due to be released sometime this summer.

The following is a transcript:

Dr. Benway, it seems odd that a Viennese scientist would even know who Kanye West is. How’d you get into Hip Hop?

Benway: Well, my youngest son, who’s now in his 20s, was, as a teen, a Hip Hop fanatic, or “head” I believe the American term for it is. Initially, I would listen just to humor him, but I grew to find it all quite fascinating.

So what was your introduction to Kanye like?

Benway (laughs): Well, my son framed him perfectly! To explain that Kanye was both a rapper and a producer and to get me to understand how difficult it was to be both simultaneously, my son asked me to imagine being both a psychoanalyst and a surgeon.

Wow. Ok, well, I just finished an advanced copy of your book and one passage I found particularly interesting was that you insisted that Kanye must leave Kim Kardashian.

Benway: Yes, he must.


Benway: Well, like most Americans, Kanye’s been psychologically victimized by White Supremacy. And while examples of this a plentiful, I think the wrong two are often used as evidences.

Like in “Gold Digger” when he says, “when he gets on, he’ll leave your ass for a white girl” and when he famously said in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people.”

Benway: Right.

So which are the best examples?

Benway: In the song “All Falls Down“, after describing both the legitimate commercial and the drug trade, Kanye raps “The White Man gets paid off of all of that” and, when he had one of his infamous meltdowns on Sway in the Morning. You know, the “You ain’t got the answers, Sway!” rant.

Why those?

Benway: Well, as you probably know Dickie, the term “The” when it’s used as Kanye does to describe “The White Man”, makes white manhood not only singular, likely exclusive but also monolithic. This means from Kanye’s perspective, white men are not only unified, but also all empowered. White men are profiting from everything, while he, clearly, profits from nothing. With that understood, it becomes easier to understand his rage at a Black man, any Black man, in this case Sway, that would deign to think that he had answers that Kanye did not.

I saw the same response from some Black men to Obama. But what does all that have to do with Kim?

Benway: Well, in this racial nether-land in which Kanye finds himself, he’s better than any Black man but worse than any white man, so he can’t help but now look at his wife Kim as somehow tainted because she’s had children with a Black man.

Come again?

Benway: Yes, you see in that nether-land, one of the most crucial tenets of White Supremacy is the purity of white womanhood. Were a white woman to have children with a Black man, any Black man, she would have proven herself impure.

But those are his kids!

Benway: It doesn’t matter. Eventually, Kanye will either leave Kim in search of greater purity or take a passive-aggressive approach where, by his behavior, he forces her to leave him.

So you’re saying that Kanye will be like Clayton Bigsby, the blind Black Klansman on The Chappelle Show that left his white wife for being a nigger-lover?

Benway: I would confirm, but I’m not exactly sure what this ‘The Chappelle Show’ is.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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