Would You Rather…?

Shit, you’d be better off broke and as the kid of deadbeats for as disgruntled, pissed and unhappy as I’m reading that a couple of the daughters of the famous are.

First, there’s model Christie Brinkley kid, model in her own right Sailor Brinkley Cook, who’s mad that her “haters” on Instagram had the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition pic of her in a thong flagged and removed from the site.

Then there’s Denzel Washington’s daughter Olivia who is apparently an actress and to whom Denzel decided to give the advice that since she’s dark-skinned, should forget trying for the roles that “cute” girls would normally go for and should instead pattern herself after Viola Davis – who, I’m guessing, isn’t “cute”.

Now in Ms. Brinkley Cook’s case, the part that I found interesting was that because she herself was lamenting that she wasn’t a “size 0”, I took that to suggest that she might have even found herself and by proxy, her butt, to be a bit big!

Uh… no.

Wanna see a big butt?

Watch this until I find out if The ButtXXX has any vids online that ain’t porn:



The ButtXXX is all porn.

Anyway, in a show of, I’m guessing, defiance, Ms. Brinkley Cook altered her SI swimsuit thong pic to the one I have listed in the body of this text and reposted it on Instagram refusing to be shamed.

Of course, in certain communities, anyone who had the gall to suggest that Ms. Brinkley Cook had anything even resembling what they consider a butt, would themselves be shamed.

Similarly if not an outright and completely different topic but which I’m still gonna ineffectively try to use to segue, I think Denzel’s daughter’s cute.

I also happen to dig dark-skinned women.

I can almost dig where Denzel’s coming from too because by the time we’re old enough to speak, we been so bombarded with imagery that we have almost no idea what our natural tastes are and what we’ve been conditioned to like.

And because American marketing is so successful, it can convince you of ideas that are prima facie absurd like “empirical” beauty and “universal” appeal – like yeah, some nigga from Uranus would land on earth and automatically wanna fuck Scarlett Johansson.

And really, to be a dark-skinned girl in America, if you’re gonna decide to be “cute” – which, let’s face it, nowadays is a decision – it’s almost to your benefit to be crazy.

I mean, you really do have to walk around convinced of something that very few others seem to agree with and yet still know that you’re right.

So all that Denzel was doing was being a good pops and giving his daughter sound advice as opposed to being great and telling her to go for crazy.

Cause crazy is the only place that change ever occurs.

Sane people don’t make changes.

Sane people go both with and for status quo.

But trust, if you walk around believing in something long and hard enough, you can bet that others will come around to your line of thinking.

Look how much momentum the “earth is flat” movement is garnering.

At first it was just crazy-ass B.o.B.

Now it’s Kyrie Irving.

If they get one more nigga, somebody I really respect like Mahershala Ali, Paul Beatty or Hov, I’m walking up to the edge and jumping.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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