White Pimps??? Next You’ll Be Telling Me There Are White Drug Dealers

Of course, it doesn’t take somebody as bad at math as it was rumored that Einstein was to be able to ignore the fact that Vermont is the most drugged out state in America and it’s also the 2nd whitest and also allow for the fact that 59% percent of the niggas in jail are there on drug charges.

You’d just have to figure that they all got busted in Vermont.

And ok, why not?

People that are familiar with the concept that one and one makes two however might be given pause by those numbers.

But this is really simply an issue of the face of crime versus the reality of crime.

See, the face of crime is always Black.

It’s always someone unknown, usually being shown on TV being handcuffed and led away by the authorities.

There’s no question the guy’s guilty.

I mean, not only is he Black, but the cops got him.

Meanwhile, the reality is that a cat like 21 year-old Maury Noun down in Florida can be expected to make money hand-over-fist and for as long as he wants – provided that he never gets too arrogant – and he usually won’t raise any suspicions whatsoever from local law enforcement members that are often out looking for more of those Black unknowns.

And being unknown is absolutely key to being criminal.

It helps a ton when the little old (white) lady can look at you on television and say “That’s no pimp! That’s Maury!”

Just from the looks of things, Noun probably got ratted out.

I mean, his hustle seemed relatively solid; pimping out college girls to squares for Top Dollar, the likelihood is that he either stepped on somebody’s toes or someone he knew just didn’t want to see him shine.

Otherwise, like I said, he could have kept right on pimping forever.

I remember the notorious Jason Itzler got so ridiculous that he actually had business cards printed up declaring himself the “King of All Pimps”.

And it took exactly that level of grandiosity to get his ass busted.

Another thing is, even though we’ll allow for the fact that our phones are also our cameras and our music players and our recording devices while our microwaves are spying on us for Barack Obama, we collectively have a hard time imagining that crime has advanced at all since the 1970s.

Therefore, in our mental image, pimps all look like Iceberg Slim, Goldie, Bishop Don “Magic” Juan, and Huggy Bear.

This provides, predictably, a lane through which enterprising young white boys can come through and make a killing.

And here’s where things get complicated: see, it’s not like those old archetypal pimps don’t exist anymore, it’s just that, like Black drug dealers, they’re almost exclusively relegated to the lowest levels because of the perceived (and real) inferior quality of their merchandise.

You are not gonna pick up a 20K a night whore from a nigga that looks like Pimpin Ken.

Still, when it comes sentencing time, provided those white pimps are ever caught, you can also bet that they won’t see a fraction of the time that the Black ones do.

So, ignoring the protestations of our own old ladies – “That’s no pimp! That’s the D-O-Double Gizzle!” – it almost brings a tear to your eye when you think of how much the judicial system cares for the Black community considering that they always do their absolute best to keep our criminals locked away for as long as humanly possible.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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