As muhfuccas that played alongside Michael Jordan proved, there are only two ways to deal with your squad’s Prima Donna that once he turns his claws against you.
You could just take it, like Will Purdue notoriously did after Jordan punched him one day during practice, or you can pull him aside and quietly threaten to break his legs, like Bill Cartwright allegedly did.
Well, idiot Tristan Thompson picked neither of those options last night after a clear missed rotation caused and open shooter from the Pacers to knock down a shot and LeBron acted like Jackie Kennedy in the back of the Lincoln.
And don’t get me wrong; LeBron’s antics are always way over the top.
I can’t even imagine playing with that dick.
However, he’s still the best small forward to ever lace em up, the man that took a last place team from 3 years ago and put them in the Finals two years ago and had them win the Chip last year making, among other teammates, Tristan Thompson’s own clown ass a champion, so a little bit of respect is due.
Instead, what I saw when I watched Thompson amazingly enough start barking back at LeBron on the floor during the game in front of a live audience and a television crew, was a nigga that had clearly gotten beside himself and it didn’t take me long to determine what might have caused such an egregious error in judgement.
Well, I don’t know if you, dear reader, know any Black dudes in interracial relationships, but I know plenty.
And let me tell you, it’s tough to run into any of them dudes without handshakes that last three and a half hours, an extensive cataloging of all the current rap lyrics both popular and underground, and, bizarrely enough, a thorough denouncing of “white people”.
You take it that they mean white men exclusively, but you never know.
Another of their signature traits is that they tend to generally go into what the character Vic Androzzi from the original Shaft called a “super-heavy Black number” where they become almost Soul Brother squared and as such, deliver performances that even Robert Downey Jr. as Tropic Thunder‘s Kirk Lazarus would nix
In other words, in fear, I guess, of appearing to their non-Black beloved as inauthentic, they go extra.
Like when Chris from Get Out not only made a big deal out of seeing another Black guy at the party that ended up being a bidding war for his body, but attempted to “fist bump” said Black man when a handshake would have been more that sufficient.
That scene was realer than you can imagine.
I’ve either witnessed it or participated in it as a greeter for said Soul Brothers too many times to mention.
Then, when they interviewed Tristan Thompson after the game to ask about the dust-up with LeBron, he was wearing a skully over a dorag and looking very early 50 Cent,
That look not only didn’t match the tone and timbre of the way he spoke, it also didn’t match reality.
It’s Spring, my nigga!
Spring of 2017.
If you’re gonna imitate a Black man to impress Khloe, go for James Harden who, if I’m not mistaken, is currently doing his best Clubber Lang.