Gil Scott-Heron, Kendall Jenner & Why the Revolution was Not SUPPOSED to be Televised

 

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Not saying that you didn’t know one of the greatest poems ever recited on wax, just that it’s so dope that it’s always due a re-listen, and if, in fact, you didn’t know it, then, as Drake would say, Thank Me Later.

And the point, which I’m sure you’ve surmised by now is that the “revolution” that Mr. Scott-Heron’s generation foresaw, would entirely change the existing social order and that, my friend, don’t make for good ratings and it sure as shit couldn’t be commercialized.

But, believe it or not, no less an MC that the legendary KRS-One sold out to make some bullshit “The Revolution will be about basketball” commercial for Nike.

So clearly, Mr. Scott-Heron’s “revolution” either failed or didn’t entirely come to pass.

Now back to shit on Mr. Scott-Heron’s not-too-recently but not-too-distantly either filled grave, is Kendall Jenner, Pepsi, and the notion that gross commercialization could indeed save the day, if only we shared said soft drink with the waiting-to-be-offending officers.

Pepsi is apparently trying to “One Up” buying the world a Coke and thinks that a gesture of kindness towards our enemies as opposed to, say, Molotov cocktails will make them see the error or their position.

Of course, this perspective sucks and is wrongheaded on at least two immediately fundamental levels.

First, the type of people that join protests are, if they’re genuine and not just tryna get dates, also the type of all-natural health freaks that are generally aggravating because they can’t tolerate the notion that not everybody alive knows all the holistic properties of wheat germ.

These types would never drink a Pepsi.

Too many calories.

Too much sugar.

Second, as opposed to this blunt and obvious ploy, Pepsi missed it’s chance to be he face of this current “Revolution Generation” by not being on the ground.

Who’s on the marketing team that it never occurred to anybody to send out clandestine vans full of interns wearing Pepsi t-shirts only who silently sneaked up next to protesters and whispered, “Hey… you thirsty?”

Then, in a show of solidarity, offered them free Pepsi.

That sort of grassroots play is the same type shit that got Obama into the White House.

Of course, you wouldn’t wanna offend your geezer, non-protesting Trump voters, that’s why you don’t set up a stand, but you do have feet on the street.

Now the particular failing of the commercial is, of course, that they got a Kardashian to do it.

Never mind the sneak diss in suggesting that Kendall might not have budged from the fence she was straddling as she looked on at the protest that was unfolding in front of her were it not for the nod from the “hot” Asian guy – and we all know how them Kardashians just dive for he cock! – but should we ever expect anything other than whoring from a family whose mom pimps them out?

When “The Revolution” really does come, my friends, and one will come because one eventually comes everywhere, there’ll be Pepsi, sure, but it’ll be weaponized to spray in cops’ eyes and it’s bottles will be used for either bludgeoning or gouging.

And you’ll know The Revolution is indeed here because your wifi will have been compromised, your cable will have been sabotaged and you’ll have no choice but to come outside and pick a side.

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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