By Tyrese’s Math: Dating=Fucking

Once, and we’re going back a while here, me and my man were hanging out with this bad pair of roommates and my man being a total dweeb and me only being remotely corny, I was the object of affection for both of the ladies

The light-skinned one said she hadn’t been fucked in 5 years.

I was on a few months myself but 5 years, sheesh!

The dark-skinned one didn’t say anything and I ended up eating her pussy; a few times.

Anyway the point – yes, yes, I do have one of those – was that I wasn’t as much turned off by old girl’s 5 year stretch as it was that I got to figuring that since that shit had been there, it would be there.

That’s the central flaw in Tyrese’s logic, not that any his argument makes sense.

In his latest rant against/in favor of/toward/about Black women, he gets into how “hoes” always have male companionship while women that “love” themselves should “hold out”.

This is about as sound in theory as suggesting that Kevin Durant should sit out the playoffs so he’ll be fresh for the start of the next regular season.

The obvious consideration I’m sure he’s missing is that most men would rather save a ho than wife a wallflower and ever since Too Short suggested on Biggie’s “The World is Filled” that you “can’t turn hoe into a housewife” you’ve had way more dudes trying to prove Short Dog wrong than abiding by his quasi-gospel and joining churches in search of The One.

Right or wrong, there’s a glamour associated with hoes, a so-called challenge, and interestingly, it can’t be faked or else you’d see a squadron of women out there dressing the part and acting the part right up until the point where it came to proving the part.

And perhaps the most troubling issue with Tyrese’s wrong-headedness is that he never did get down to providing a definition of what constitutes a “hoe” in the first place.

Numerically, we could just be dealing with a “sexually liberated woman” and mistaking one for the other would put our brother on the wrong side of misogyny.

And I know I’m at fault here too, I’m such a hypocrite that if somebody cut out my tongue and showed it to me, I’d swear to God that the shit wasn’t mine, but I do find it interesting that in providing “advice” for Black women, the path most often taken is restrictive.

Instead of “you go, girl!”, “play to win!”, “YOLO”, “live it up!” or Hidden Figures, we can only seem to suggest to Black women what not to do.

Then, amazingly, some Black dudes turn around and damn Black women because Black mothers are stereotypically so overprotective that many of us never acquire the guts it takes to go out into the world and be men.

And y’all know me: I’m no feminist, I don’t cater to, cape for, or worship Black “queens”, I just hate bad coaching; whether it come from Tyrese or Jeff Hornacek.

So my advice would be to go on as many dates as you can and fuck whoever turns you on versus stranding yourself on some deserted island waiting for God to rescue you as a boat, a plane and spaceship land all asking you what you’re doing and you say, “Waiting for God to rescue me”.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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