Gilbert Arenas & Why God Invented Light-Skinned Girls


If you didn’t know that each of us is endowed at birth with a special and unique mission and that we’re subsequently judged by the degree to which we’ve completed that mission, you might really believe that light-skinned girls were invented so that niggas like Gilbert Arenas – niggas that subconsciously actually want white girls – would have somebody that they could date and marry without a corresponding loss in “hood passes”, credibility and the ease with which they can bring wifey around their moms and boys without too much stress or discomfort.

But count me among that number that actually feels sorry for light-skinned girls because I can imagine better than most what kind of unique hell they must endure.

I mean, not only do I personally prefer dark-skinned girls and no, I ain’t on no Malcolm Gladwell, David and Goliath, how a perceived disadvantage is actually and advantage type bullshit, but I’m saying that since there are putz-heads like Arenas that, like it or not, are still color-struck to the point of exclusion, a light-skinned girl must be forced to wonder every time some Arena-type dude rolls up on her, “Is he really seeing me, or is he blinded by the light?”

Like Dorcas from Toni Morrison’s Jazz who, when the sibling brothers are approaching having noticed she has, like puzzle pieces, light skin, long hair and European features, decide as they draw nearer and nearer that her pieces seem like they belong to different puzzles and don’t exactly fit.

Also, I have a friend, a short, light-skinned cutie who said to me once in the form of a complaint that no white boy had ever tried to talk to her.

“You’re not Black enough” I said dismissively and then I heard myself, dug myself.

My irony was not lost on me either.

Because whereas during the antebellum period, nothing beat a biracial “tragic mulatto” as far as white boys’ tastes in Negroes were concerned, now, for authenticity, if a white boy’s gonna fuck with a Black chick, she’s gonna be dark.

Also, if you’re light-skinned and unless you’ve got demonstratively Black lips, nose, and hair, and shit, sometimes even when you do have all three, you’re likely to get asked the single most infuriating question that any one human can ask another: what are you?

Now, to his credit, Gilbert Arenas walks it likes he talks it, being engaged to and having four children with the decidedly light-skinned Laura Govan.

And don’t get me wrong, preference is usually simply that; I mean, when you go to some fast food restaurants and they don’t have Coke only Pepsi, it’s unlikely you take a stance against hydration that night, but some dudes, and these are usually actually the dudes that go for white girls exclusively, make choices that seem to be from perspectives of what they’re against, rather than what they prefer.

Like here with Arenas seemingly arguing against the possibility of beauty in a dark-skinned girl.

Why all that?

And it’s dudes like Arenas that are usually the quickest to be triggered when they see a white boy with a dark-skinned girl.

You’d think they’d be happy.

If the interracial couple has daughters, they’ll be… guess what?

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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