Aries Spears & the Perils of Equating “Light-Skinned” With “Soft”

Nigga, all you gotta do is remember that Muhammad Ali was light-skinned.

And he let George Foreman hit him in the head for 8 straight rounds before he decided to take Big George on out.

And every time I see Steph Curry in the mix with somebody, whether it’s Trevor Ariza, Patrick Beverley, or Victor Oladipo, I also see them pulling him away, meaning he wanted that beef and it’s usually only because of the forward thinking of some teammate that the Warriors avoided losing their best player for the night.

And nigga, Malcolm X, what the fuck?

It’s totally brainless to imagine that light-skinned people are soft when there are white boys – Connor McGregor anyone? – that’ll knock your monkey ass out.

We joke about Drake – who’s More Life is sensational by the way – because he’s emo and goofy and weird, but I’ve never seen a line forming to run up on him.

Shit, it was dark-skinned Africans that got dragged to this bitch to work as slaves and subsequently raped thereby producing light-skinned people, there was no separate continent of the light-skinned from which we got them muhfuccas.

And if there had been, we’d have to thank God for it because some of the baddest muhfuccas to share our heritage have been light-skinned.

Nigga, gimme Thurgood Marshall, Toni Morrison, Joe Louis and Beyonce any day and you can have whatever team you want.

I want some jet Black niggas too tho – mostly women – but I’ll take Jordan and Miles Davis, Jack Johnson and Jimmy Baldwin.

I’ll take, in short, Black people and any efforts that try to divide us, especially now, especially with us on the cusp, especially with greatness and victory seemingly assured, seem so far into being counterproductive that they almost seem counterrevolutionary.

Who in their right mind is talking colorism in this day and age except the likes of Gibert Arenas and if you had to choose any kinda squad, how many picks in would you be before you got around to his ass?

I mean, I know I fuck with complexion a lot and perhaps make too much of a big deal about my preference for sweet Black bitches but you’d hafta have a weird pair of eyes to read into anything I’ve written as an endorsement of one type of skin color being better than another or making one, preposterously enough, “blacker”.

Shit, like I said, you’re as “Black” as Alek Wek as far out as octoroon.

So it’s with the dubious curiosity worthy of a side-eye that a comedian that I really do enjoy, Aries Spears, tried to assume some sort of blackened upper hand on Zo Williams simply because he happens to be a few shades darker.

If the rumor that Mr. Spears has a biracial child is true, that would explain a lot.

Like I’ve written, nobody hates the same-sexed member of another race like somebody that’s into interracial heterosexual relationships.

Still, that kinda devisive shit in this era is suspect.

It’s almost like a nigga’s working for the government or something.

And even though I could never endorse putting hands on another man except in self defense, I could almost understand if Zo Williams didn’t see things my way and acted out.

Or did that happen already?

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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