How Bad Does Beyonce Wanna Fuck Drake?

Despite my staggering intellect, I make no pretense towards an understanding of women that matches my otherwise stellar insight.

However, I do know this: what men want is almost diametrically opposed to what women want.

A man wants a chick with a low “body count” and most importantly, one that’s never slept with anybody he knows, most specifically, any of his friends.

A woman, on the other hand, tends to have little interest in a dude without experience and seems to love it when a guy is a ladykiller.

What’s the logic behind this?

Do you really think that I assume that anything a woman does is motivated by “logic”?

However, if I were pressed to guess, I’d say that it’s because while men like to be first, women like to be last.

And although it probably also has something to do with the insane notion that women only fuck if there’s an emotional attachment and that it’s always the dude’s decision to end the fucking, while a man’s insecurities are triggered by the prospect of wifing up some chick that just about everybody’s done run through, a woman’s self worth seems to elevate at the notion that she and she alone was able to subdue, tame and domesticate some nigga with a wild track record.

Enter Drake and Beyonce.

Now, I don’t know why, but aside from the very first time I’d heard it on the day it was released,  I hadn’t really listened to DJ Khaled’s “Shining” which features Beyonce and hubby Jay Z.

I liked it, tho.

And yeah, I too thought that Hov was taking shots at Drake, like many sites did.

I know you ain’t out here talking numbers, right?

I know you ain’t out here talking summers, right?

I know you ain’t walking round, talking down.

saying boss shit when you a runner, right?

But what I only noticed when I started listening to the song again was that Beyonce seemed to be taking shots too.

And those shots also seemed to be headed at Drake.


ratchet ratchet ratchet you’re a tool, little boy

might not have been specific – despite the fact that a 30 year-old Drake in comparison to a 35 year-old Beyonce is a little boy – and

poppin’ off at the mouth out here, boy

seemed to narrow it down, the line

a fella can’t make me fancy

should have been a dead giveaway.

Who doesn’t remember Drake’s “Fancy” from the Thank Me Later album?

I had another Keyser Soze moment.

How’d I miss that the first time?

I mean, who else could Bey have been talking about?

And how do you explain it?

Riding with/for her man?


And as far as insulting a love/sex interest, that’s a classic.

Neil Strauss included the method in his book.

It’s called a “neg”.

And can you blame Beyonce?

Drake’s fucked just about everybody she knows or knows of.

Rihanna, Serena Williams, J Lo, the list goes on and on.

It must suck feeling you have the box that could slow his roll but being stuck in a marriage with a kid and two more on the way.

Bey likes to flirt too.

I mean, look at how she turned out Chance just put putting her head on his shoulder.

Now can you imagine what her “surfboard” would do to Drake?

Betcha she can.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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