Boosie, Prison & Gay Sex

One of the absolute miracles of my existence is that despite having been arrested – and I’m gonna take a wild guess here – perhaps 25-30 times, I’ve never gone to jail.

Did see some wild shit in holding tho; a couple times.

Once, there was the straight up jacking of a Spanish cat for his Sheepskin who then subsequently got his pockets ran.

Another time, group aggression was perpetrated against some foreign Black dude who, once initially barked on, didn’t bark back and was ultimately barked on, harassed and menaced by just about everybody else in holding, yours truly excluded.

On that score, I’m guessing Jay Z was right when he spit, “Once you’re tagged lame/the game is follow the leader“, but it’s another Jay line, I think, that’s most pivotal towards why I’m grateful that I never spent more than a weekend behind bars, “…Ain’t no hoes in the pen.”

And that, of course, is the central conundrum that must be accounted for when dealing with the prospect of not only one-time imprisonment, but the altogether baffling phenomenon of repeat offenders!

If you like women, love women or even simply enjoy their company, one would figure that after that first bid, you’d figure out a way to avoid enduring a jail cell ever again.

One is reminded of Homer who’s character Achilles is already dead in The Odyssey when Odysseus encounters him, but who I’ll paraphrase now: (because I don’t specifically remember exactly what the fuck he said) “It’s better to be the lowest of farmers among the living than the most exalted among the dead” – or something like that.

And applying that perspective towards being in or out of jail, cleaning up dog shit with your bare hands outside of prison, beats being a baller for 2 years and an inmate for 20.

Unless, of course, you don’t like freedom (or girls).

Enter Boosie BadAzz, formerly, of course, Lil Boosie:

Now, quite frankly, this guy’s only caught and held my attention once and that was here:

Well now, he’s got it again with that crazy shit he said in an interview about having caught two dudes fucking in prison during one of his (many) stays.

Turns out, Boosie walked past a Coke can; which I’m gonna take is a prison signpost for Gay Action in Progress, and found, much to his horror, one man riding another man’s dick.

Boosie was absolutely disgusted!

“Sick”, he called it.

And he was also positively mortified because one of the two en flagrante delicto-engaged men walked around the joint like he was some sort of “gangster”.

And, while, yes, that probably would be disturbing, the mere fact that Boosie could allow himself to be shocked that gratuitous gay sex took place in jail demonstrates either a staggering amount of naivete or denial.

Nigga, gay sex is the reason the majority of us do our absolute best to stay out of jail!

Not up for debate in this particular post is the theory that one of the reasons that Black men are so readily and often incarcerated is that it’s part of a plot to turn us all into homosexuals, but while there certainly exists the type of careful con that does occasionally get popped represented best as the protagonist of Donald Goines’ White Man’s Justice Black Man’s Grief – a book, I must add, which also has an incredible amount of gratuitous gay sex – one must conclude that with few exceptions, if you genuinely cannot keep yourself outta jail, there’s must be something about being inside that place that you like.

HINT, HINT.

 

About the Author

dickiebhee
Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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