Game 3 Was What We Hate About Sports

The reason you knew that Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky would have to have a sequel was because the first one was too close to being realistic.

Based as it was on the infamous Muhammad Ali vs. Chuck Wepner fight – which wasn’t nearly as close as Rocky versus Apollo Creed – Stallone admitted that he saw potential in the fact that Wepner became a mini-celebrity after being credited with a knockdown for having shoved Ali then stepped on his foot.

Now, if there’s one thing we know about sequels – with the possible exceptions of The Godfather and Star Wars – they get more and more fantastic as they go along.

Consider The Hangover.

We also know that in virtually every scripted case, the star we came out to see will be there at the end.

Try and remember the last Tom Cruise vehicle in which Tom’s character actually dies.

And it’s because of the lack of an aforementioned script, that most of us are sports fans.

That and, of course, Woody Allen’s point in Annie Hall about sports being “physical”.

And it’s the upsets we always remember.

David versus Goliath is only interesting when Goliath doesn’t win.

Going back with Ali to when he was Clay and was never supposed to beat Sonny Liston or as Ali not supposed to defeat George Foreman.

Thinking Villanova over Georgetown, the Miracle on Ice, Catholics vs. Convicts, The undefeated Patriots getting knocked off by the Giants, every upset validates our enjoyment of the unlikely.

The is why reality TV was invented.

We didn’t wanna be able to predict an outcome.

That’s why it should be totally amazing to anyone upon hearing anyone else complaining of being “bored”.

Life itself is the ultimate reality show and each individual controls his or her own channel.

Still, when Kevin Durant joined the Golden State Warriors last off-season, the Warriors, of course, became the prohibitive favorite to win this year’s NBA title.

Shit, they’d been the prohibitive favorite to win it last year and after setting a record for most wins in a season and taking a 3-1 lead in last year’s Finals and if we’re to believe Ayesha Curry about how that particular series was “rigged” – which I do – which caused them to lose that series in 7 games after having won the title the year before, then the Warriors have actually been the best team in basketball for the last three years straight.

And Kevin Durant is no less than the second best small forward in the NBA behind only LeBron James, arguably the second best player – if you’re not the biggest Steph Curry fan – and possibly, after LeBron, Larry Bird, Julius “Dr. J” Erving, Bob Pettit, John Havlicek and Scottie Pippen, one of the 10 best small forwards ever.

So yeah, him joining a one-off champion would have been the equivalent of maybe the first Jordan Bulls getting Hakeem Olajuwon or Karl Malone.

You see how fucking sick the second Jordan Bulls were after adding Dennis Rodman.

And believe it or not, although I initially thought Cleveland would win it in 7, I don’t write all this to take their side.

I’m simply saying that despite all the analytics and even the junk science I myself used to dismiss the possibility that the Warriors would indeed win it this year, Kevin Durant nailing that three with 45 seconds remaining last night to put the Warriors up 1 in a game they’d ultimately win to take a seemingly insurmountable 3-0 lead in this particular NBA Finals was atrocious for exactly one reason:

It was supposed to happen.



About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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