To R. Kelly the Dick Was Always Bigger than the Dollar

Stop being ignorant!

Y’all know for a fact, that if your young daughter or some young girl that you knew and loved came to you saying that she wanted to be a singer and R. Kelly was gonna help her, you slap the shit outta her and put her on the first bus to Ghana.

That shit wouldn’t be happening and you know why, too.

You know, first of all, that R. Kelly would have no interest in actually making a “star” outta anybody but himself and the reason he’d be twice as unlikely to fuck around and make some new young female a star would be because of the fact that the last time he did just that, after marrying him when she was 15 then leaving him, Aaliyah fucked around and had the most productive part of her musical career with other producers.

Think R. Kelly would let that shit happen again?

Hell no.

So these chicks knew what they were doing, just like Cosby’s hoes.

It’s unfortunate, yes.

I’m a man, yes.

I’m a pig, yes.

But I’m not a liar.

Second of all, you know that R. Kelly hasn’t had a Top 20 Hit since “Happy People” 13 years ago.

Think Latrell Sprewell can get you a spot on the Knicks too?

And I’m not in the least bit surprised that this nigga that once called himself “The Pied Piper” – of all things – and wore a mask in public like some kinda fucking lunatic, has now been discovered to be operating some kinda goddamn harem in which he keeps young women and girls as virtual – “virtual” being the key word – sex slaves under promise – another key word – of eventual stardom.

The promise is you’ll get this “dick” from him who’s the “star”.

I mean, even this dude’s acquittal on child pornography charges 9 years ago was bogus.

We all know it was him pissing on people in those goddamn movies.

He just had the cash to silence the moms and dads.

And I’m not writing all this to say at all that all men are bad.

A smaller percentage would only see dollar signs should some talented young ho come to them with the goods and could sing, rap, dance, act, paint, sculpt, direct films, write, cure AIDS, whatever.

An almost nonexistent percentage would actually help a young woman just because it was the right thing to do.

But game, manhood, craft, guile, genuine love an all the other devices that men without power have had to cultivate over centuries just to lure our sex interests into the act, go out the window when power gets involved.

Adding power to a man is like making a 6″ jump shooter 1 foot taller.

Why stand out here and jack when I can just dunk it all the time?

And men are pussies, we know that.

We know that the possibility of an even playing field makes men feel like we’d be obsolete if we didn’t exercise authority to get sex whenever the opportunity availed itself.

And I say that as a man; wanna write for DickieBheeonthestreetz?

Spread them cheeks!

So R. Kelly was only doing what men have been doing forever and what men will continue to do until women control more of their own means of production.

But don’t think y’all can escape culpability on that front either, ladies.

There are at least three fucking Golden Rules that any young woman with any goddamn sense should know:

  1. Don’t go on a date without cab fare
  2. Don’t drink too much at a frat house
  3. Don’t accept musical career help from R. Kelly

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

Be the first to comment on "To R. Kelly the Dick Was Always Bigger than the Dollar"

Leave a comment