When Funny Things Happen on the Way to the “Race”

Realistically, there is no such thing as “race”, as y’all know by now from reading me so often and how I love to pound it into heads that this here country invented said concept initially to determine who’d they’d allow to become citizens but then, having discovered that it worked so well to keep people and agendas separate and hostile to each other, used it as a coverall behind which to project all types of bullshit theories, conjecture and nonsense.

So in that sense, not only did America invent race, but also, predictably, racism.

Add to that, that if you know anything about biology; and I’m gonna exclude myself here because although I started out as a chemistry major – intended to make my folks proud as a doctor, but kept thinking E equaling MC squared meant that E must have been a really fat rapper – then you know that traits can come in a variety of forms, most particularly dominant and recessive.

Add to that another couple things that everybody either does or should know; not only did all life originate in Africa, but even if there were a such thing as “race”, nobody alive – including, sadly, The Great Dickie Bhee – would be “pure“.

This means that the blondest Aryan has some big dick, African nigger as a grandpappy, and even something as fine as this:

has something like this:

among it’s ancestral origins.

All the above to say, while very recently NBA star Mike Conely’s been taking a lot of flak about the complexion of his son, laughs have also resurfaced about the complexion of sports announcer Mike Tirico.

It turns out that these, er, “critics” have very little knowledge about the possibilities inherent in genetics.

Either that, or they just have fair to normal eyesight.

In Conley’s case, it’s altogether possible that his boy simply hasn’t “darkened up” yet.

I mean, before a baby’s born, it’s carried for 9 month’s in a place not known to get too much sunlight.

Also, you see a darkening-up process all the time in Black families.

In fact, it’s a well known belief that you can tell the eventual complexion of a newborn by looking at it’s ears.

In Tirico’s case, well…

Let’s just put it this way, Mike Tirico doesn’t consider himself Black and he was raised by an Italian single-mom in Queens who, you might get to thinking became single after Mike was born looking so unlike the Italian norm.

I mean,  a recessive complexion is one thing, but a recessive nose, lips and hair?

This nigga’s either some nigga’s baby or he’s a descendant many times removed from Hannibal Barca!

Ok, no, wait, that’s not fair.

I’m already contradicting myself and I haven’t even waited for the start of my next post.

It is, like I’ve argued from the start here, very possible that Mike Tirico too is the product of a white Italian man who himself shared something recessive in his gene pool which produced Mike.

Suffice it to say this however, unlike Mike Conley and the too many Negroes, male and female, for whom light and white skin are always a preference and source of joy when produced, I can’t think of a single white couple who weren’t adopting, had a natural childbirth, produced a Mike Tirico and were like, “Voilà!

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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