Why Boosie Bought His Son Some Head

When I was 16, my late pops asked me if I was still a virgin and I 1/2 lied saying “I don’t think so…” but the message was clear: whatever the fuck I was doing, it was time for me to get some pussy.

He laughed when I said I don’t think so, so I’m not sure if he got that I was lying and sure enough, I had fucked two girls before I was 17.

These are things that I’m neither proud nor ashamed of but this is life, and this is the meaning of it.

Twitter’s all bugging out now because the former “Lil” Boosie who’s now, I think,  Boosie BadAzz- as if that makes some kinda fucking difference – went on Instagram promising to buy his 14 year-old son not only weed (which nobody seems to have noticed) but some oral sex for his birthday.

I know; sounds like something Melvin Van Peeples might have directed.

And of course, chicks bashed this shit off the rip while simps, perpetually in pursuit of impressing chicks, bashed too.

The rest of us, if not agreed, understood.

See, I’m thinking, and would probably bet that Boosie’s son and he ain’t living in the same house.

And knowing that your son is growing up with his single mom can produce in fathers that care at all a potential homosexual panic that outsizes all reality.

Now this is an unfounded concern, of course.

Boosie being there or not being there has nothing to do with the boy’s eventual sexual orientation.

But I knew for a fact that my potential homosexuality was my pop’s concern and I wanted to take it off his mind; and mine as well (how could I have known for sure? I wasn’t fucking anybody.)

Here’s an unpleasant truth:

I’ve known lots of fags; good people most.

Infinitely no different from you and I except they like to party sexually with weirdos.

And what’s wrong with that?

Still, I’ve never known a fag – and like I said, I’ve known a few – that didn’t say that he or she (or it) would rather have not been gay.

And that’s sad.

See, cause I know plenty niggas too – starting with myself – and the percentage of niggas that actually enjoy being niggas and wouldn’t have it any other way is precipitously higher.

And maybe it’s in the language.

I mean “gay” and “straight”.

While “gay” can mean happy or merry, “straight” means even, level, correct, direct or, worst yet, normal.

There are lots of negative connotations with the word “Black” too, but unlike Blackness which, if you’ve read your bible, you realize even Jesus shares, in that same bible, you see homosexuality condemned so vehemently that you wonder as to the psyche of a God that really gives a fuck about who people fuck.

But let’s get back to Boosie, shall we?

I was about to go way, way sideways.

It’s probably not a good idea to buy pussy or head for your boy.

It’s probably a better idea to let him decide for himself who and what he is.

You can’t force him to be straight, all you can possibly do is salve some sore part of your own ego that your absence has rubbed raw.

But in the end, the boy himself will decide.

And it’s absurdist to pretend there aren’t double-standards and that if Boosie had a daughter, this entire argument wouldn’t be upended entirely, but since it is a boy, who would anybody be to disagree if that boy decided that dad’s birthday present for him was the greatest gift ever?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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