Are Those that Refuse to Boycott the NFL Coons?


And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

–Joshua 24:15

First of all, you can’t be a coon if your spouse is Black.

Sorry, but the number one component for pro-Blackness is a Black spouse and while there are lotta alliterative insults that those loony-like assholes are likely to achieve, “coon” simply cannot be one of them.

This is where we as a people have to be more respecting of contrary positions.

And we also have to remember that while running away from slavery is the romantic option, a lot of slaves stayed.

And they were actually the logical ones.

Think about it and imagine, for a moment, that your massa ain’t so bad.

Food is decent, work ain’t so bad and he doesn’t even try to fuck your wife.

You get to thinking where am I gonna get it like this?

Get to wondering what’s so much of a difference between slavery and freedom if in freedom I’m gonna hafta go is get a job anyway – which ain’t guaranteed – and return myself to a state not too much unlike this one.

You get to considering how tough it is to escape, all the running and ducking and dodging, trading in, like I said, potentially decent food for berries and grass when you can find it or animals – even rats – when you can kill them.

And imagine you’re somewhere like South Carolina or Georgia and gotta run all the way to the Mason/Dixon line before you get free.

Shit, it makes a lot more sense to stay.

You almost always keep the devil you know.

Shit, only about 500,000 of our 4.4 million back in 1863 weren’t slaves.

So running, being free or getting free was rare indeed.

That said, don’t be so hard on anybody that still boisterously and defiantly plans on watching any NFL games this year.

Like I said, as long as their spouse is Black, it’s just a difference of opinion.

And the NFL is entertaining, I have a favorite team; the Jets.

Yeah, I know, a lot of y’all are probably thinking I’m not sacrificing too much by not watching the Jets.

That would make me like one of those slaves with a mean master that ran as opposed to, say, being a Patriots fan or a Cowboys fan where the other slaves on the Underground Railroad would look at you and ask openly, “You was one of Mr. Jones’ niggers? Heard y’all had it good down there in Dallas. How come you runnin’?”

And you’d answer, just like I would, that there’s nothing like being respected as a man.

And even though most of Mr. Jones’ niggers did indeed have it kinda good comparatively, you witnessed one particular situation where this light-skinned slave, probably massas’ own boy, had committed the grievous injury of looking massa dead in the eye.

And even though you didn’t think the infraction so severe, the beating massa dissed out – which you realized was just a lesson should other slaves get to thinking they could get to recklessly eye-hustling – was so intense that it reminded you both that at any time, the same could happen to you, but at the same time got you to thinking that it never would.

So you’re here.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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