Don’t Short Cardi B’s “Blackness” & Other Lessons for Azealia Banks


Here’s how it works: if you’re of African descent and you were born in America, I don’t care if your parents are from the Caribbean, or South America or Africa itself, then you’re just as Black as you want to be.

I italicized those last five words because I’m totally down with the self-determination movement meaning that you could be midnight-colored with super nappy hair and tell me you’re a blue-eyed Caucasian and I’d be like, “Ok”.

And, simultaneously, you can be Dolezal and I’m ok with that too.

The reason I’m like this, I think, is because unlike a lot of people of ages gone by that thought that Blackness was such an awful burden and horrendous curse, I’m pretty Goddamn glad – notice that I didn’t say “proud” – that I’m Black and while I totally rock with anybody that feels similarly, I won’t miss your monkey ass if you truly believe that you either belong to another tribe or that you got jerked when the Good Lord got around to handing out pedigrees.

Oh God… you’re thinking; another post where it takes this nigga 4 or 5 hours to get around to making his point.

I hope not.

Let’s cut it short.

Of the two grossly negligible items in Azealia Banks’ recent takedown of Cardi B, rapper extraordinaire; whose “Bodak Yellow” made her the first female since Lauryn Hill to have a No. 1 hit with no featured artists, the first being that Ms. Banks shorted Cardi B’s “Blackness” because Cardi is, by loose definition, “Latina”, the other being that Ms. Banks’ rode Black men into the ground for riding Cardi’s sweet ass to the exclusion, according to Ms. Banks, of Black women, the clown shit is that, as I’ve always said, being a woman that don’t fuck with Black men at all like Ms. Banks is, she damn sure wants Black men to exclusively fuck with Black women.

I said it in “When Interracial Becomes Irrational“, I said it in “Do We Love White Women or Hate White Men“, fuck, I’m always saying that shit.

Nobody hates interracial relationships like somebody who’s in one from the opposite perspective or simply, nobody hates seeing a Black chick with a white boy as much as a Black dude that only dates white girls and nobody hates seeing a Black dude with a white girl as much as a Black chick that only dates white boys of which Ms. Banks, by her own admission, is certainly one.

Now, since I’m yet to hear Cardi B deny her Blackness – she’s of Dominican and Trinidadian heritage (which, kept real, is like being the child of two Black people of different complexions) – I’m calling her “Black” until further notice.

She can always correct me.

I won’t be offended.

In the meantime, I’m gonna start following the action in the Kardashian household.

The self-defining shit does have it’s perks.

Ask Caitlyn.

And while we’re on that topic, I can’t wait to see how Kylie explains to her baby why it has 3 grandmothers.

That shit’s gonna be hilarious.


About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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