Who Needs a Passport When You Got Jordans?

Comedian Amanda Seales is taking a lot of heat on Twitter for tweeting this:

Now, ya’ll know how I feel about Jordans.

I’ve gone on record as saying that muhfuccas should stop buying them shits, while simultaneously if impossibly tryna avoid knocking Mike’s hustle.

I mean, he’s gotta eat too and I don’t wanna be listed as the dude that suggests when another man has had enough food.

Still – and this is where you can stop reading if you’ve ever read me before cause I’m about to repeat a buncha shit that I always write – since niggas are the people of limited aspirations, it’s no surprise that many if not most of us would actually prefer a fresh pair of Jordans to kicking it in the Caribbean, learning the world, or just getting the fuck away from where we are and always have been.

Have I officially introduced “NoNigga Syndrome”?

It’s a concept I’ve been toying around with for a while but if I haven’t formally introduced it, now would be a good time.

See, too many niggas, in covert agreement with white supremacy, have decided that since they ain’t white and could never be as good as a white man, any white man, that the last thing in the world they’re gonna allow for is a fellow Negro to be superior in any way.

In other words, NoNigga can surpass them.

Now, perhaps the most famous sufferer of this condition would be our esteemed musical genius, Kanye West.

Kanye, who famously flipped on Sway for not having “the answers” and has distanced himself from his surrogate family of Jay-Z and Beyonce as meowed like a cat at the heels of the Kardashian clan and gone hat-in-hand, prostrate before any white man in the fashion industry from which he believes he can learn.

And we should have seen this coming.

I mean after all, one of Kanye’s best songs was the nigga-opinion denouncing “Can’t Tell Me Nothing”.

Interracial relationships are, sadly, often a byproduct of this syndrome as are a plethora of other, er, “conditions”.

On another note, whoever said when you see a Black man standing decked out in all his finest apparel, he’s representing his entire net worth, wasn’t far off.

And that brings me back to my two earliest points: I’ll go in reverse order.

As the low-aspirational people – and I’ve said this a million times too – even our Hip Hop, our fantasy music, is proliferated with our rappers killing “niggas”.

I mean, that’s the best we can do in our fantasies?

Some shit any nigga in the street can do without having to practice rhyming for years to get good enough to get a record contract, master the beat, master your flow, master your cadence, study etymology and context and then… more dead niggas?

Nigga, I’da thought you’d have taken us to another planet with all the work you put in!

Now, Amanda Seales’ point: of course she’s right.

But she’s also wrong.

See, as the low-aspirational people and with a lot of us suffering from NoNigga Syndrome, what good would it be to see the Pyramids if we couldn’t rub it in the faces of the people we see every day in the hood?

I mean, pics are cool but not when you’re showing them to people as you’re standing right next to them.

Meanwhile, if you text them or post them online, you don’t get to literally feel the hate.

Way better in that case to rock Jordans.

You get the hate right there on the spot.

About the Author

dickiebhee

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.
Also: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E7NYMP4

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