How to Avoid Sexual Harassment


Invent a fake boyfriend.

That’s it.

There’s no more to it.

I’m done.


You’d like an explanation?

Ok, well, while I was pretty sure this wouldn’t be necessary, I’ll explain it anyway.

See, despite the fact that, as Tupac once so illustriously spit “we got our name from a woman and a our game from a woman”, men still do not respect women.

And that’s not gonna change.

Trying to change it would be preposterous, like tryna get the cops to deal respectfully with Black Americans or tryna get the Black American incarceration percentage reduced.

Those type things just ain’t gonna happen.

The best women can ever expect from men would be possibly fear and resentment.

If you’re a woman in power, men will fear you.

Men also fear rejection which is why the men that don’t fear it, usually come off like the Harvey Weinsteins of the world; all over hoes, overly aggressive, pig-like, gross and sadistic.

Then there are the dudes that have some issue with their own mothers that manifests itself in a resentment of all women.

These guys are horrible.

If they’re gay, they’re competitive with women.

If they’re straight, the hate the women they want, hate the women they have and only reflect with occasional kindness on the women they have had.

You’re not gonna cure this type of dude.

He needs an exorcism.

But let me get to my point because now I’m just writing and if allowed, this could go on forever with no aim, which is usually how I write, but that’s not what you came here to read and in fairness, you’re probably not only a little bored and angry now, but wondering if you could track me through my IP address and have me murdered.

The reason a woman that doesn’t want to be sexually harassed must create a fake boyfriend – that is, if she doesn’t have a real boyfriend or a husband – is because, like I said, men don’t respect women.

But while that’s true, men still respect other men.

And if a woman can convincingly pull of the “Sainted by Love” act, a sorta Mother Teresa of exclusivity with the pussy, the asshole that’s been getting at her since she first darkened the doorstep of her place of employment in that tight skirt, hair up, tits pushed out in the perfect bra, and looking so appropriately and sexually lost, will, if not immediately, then certainly get the picture and move on.

There is something beautiful about a woman in love that even the most ungainly of cads responds to.

It triggers something, this notion that a woman can be faithful.

It makes the vulgarian wish that he had one like that.

It also lets this self-described gigalo, this “playa” in a game all his own, off rejection’s hook because he gets to go away imagining that if it weren’t for the (fake) boyfriend, he’d have been home free like he always (usually?…. actually, never) is.

And while you may be a woman ready to bark about how it ain’t fair that you should have to lie to avoid being sexually harassed, need I remind you that life ain’t fair.

I just showed you the way to avoid sexual harassment.

If you wanna try it your way, good luck with that.

Carmelo Anthony’s been tryna win an NBA championship by playing the game his way since 2003.

And how’s that worked out for him?

About the Author


Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town.

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