When former porn goddess Linda Lovelace was older and no longer hot, she became one of the most virulent anti-porn advocates anywhere.
Nevermind that she was only given voice to make her opposition known due to her porn stardom or that during her hey she was known for an act so, ahem, “engrossing” that whether she did it and gave it a name or whether she best personified the already available name became a “which came first, chicken or egg?” sorta thing.
So when, from the treadmill, I saw a new excerpt about a movement to “ban the briefs”, pertaining to the alleged “skimpy” track uniforms worn by high school girl runners, I knew immediately what to look for in terms of appearance as far as the originator of said heinous indictment.
Predictable, Long Island mother Karen Garconnier isn’t an ugly woman. She is, however, the mother of a teen and as a woman who’s aging though not ugly, there probably was a time when she was a fresh, hot piece of tail that possbily even liked to strut her stuff, shake what her mama gave her and having it, flaunt it.
Now, and like I wrote, aging, Ms. Garconnier’s been gifted with a new morality which makes her see (now that she’s no longer the focus of such things) the leers of men towards the young females that wear such hot, sexy track shit and she’s appalled!
Like I always write, no moralist can compete with one that has an inherent vice.
In other words, nobody’s as anti-something as somebody that’s overly pro something else.
Also like I’ve written, I knew a chain cigarette smoker that was so anti-marijuana that you’d have thought it was pedophelia.
Meanwhile, the fewer vices you personally have, the more tolerant you generally are.
Remember, Jesus himself when, about to witness a gang of men preparing to stone an alleged whore, said famously, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her“.
So, not to bash Ms. Garconnier, but it does become clear that now that she’s no longer a general center of attention, she doesn’t want anybody to be.
And what’s so wrong with staring with girls with big asses and nice legs anyway?
As America makes it’s descent – or ascent, depending on your perspective – into becoming Gay Nation, it really does seem like heterosexuality is about to be criminalized.
And I’m not advocating abuse.
I’m not even advocating limitless provocation.
Harvey Weinstein, despite all that I find funny about the guy, is admittedly a little too much – I mean, he was married after all, let’s not forget that’s his first sin.
But the notion that we’re not even supposed to look at hot girls anymore?
And they’re runners, I mean, my God!
Which branch of the female species, aside from, perhaps, volleyball players, traditionally has better bodies than runners?
Alenka Bikar still has a youtube fanbase and she hung em up more than a decade ago, if I’m not mistaken.
So no, don’t ban the briefs.
Celebrate that for this moment in time at least, men are still occasionally attracted to women.
And when we reach that Children of Men epoch in our advancement, realize that it won’t have been a virus that wiped out our ability to reproduce, it’ll be an overall lack of inter-gender sexuality.