DJ Envy Says, “Yes Eye (pun) Can (pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun)!”


I just did a post on this topic, but I’m gonna enjoy doing it again.

The biggest scandal that might come to light over a series of text messages allegedly between Power 105’s DJ Envy and some mystery woman may be that he is indeed, cheating on his wife.

That’s been one of Envy’s strength’s, the fact that he’s a family man.

A loving father of 5, an HBCU guy, married to a Black woman, the total package.

But in today’s culture, it seems like breaking this, the first and most important bond, the bond which, for my money at least, determines what kind of person you really are – how much integrity can you really have if you would betray the one person for whom your fidelity is essential? – is no big deal and it’s the way you treat the people you’re breaking the bond with that becomes currency.

We don’t judge Bill Cosby because he allegedly had affairs, we judge him because we believe that he raped the women he allegedly had those affairs with.

But back to Envy.

It’s come to light that he may, in fact, like a little something in the can.

This will provide the inevitable backlash of threatened men and angry women ready to jump up and suggest that he’s “gay”.

That’s prima facie absurd because, like I argued in my last piece about the exact same topic, sexuality is all about who you’re having sex with and nothing about which sex act you engage in.

The person that Envy was allegedly messaging back and forth with was a woman.

That means, anything’s in bounds.

The attempt to label sexual indulgences gay and not the gender of the respective partners is nothing short of a conspiracy launched by certain people who, uncomfortable with their own sexuality, attempt to drag everybody into some sort of homosexual compliance by making the most random and inanimate actions, thoughts and deeds gay.

Remember when there was that big thing about how if a man “moaned” while having sex with a woman, he was gay?

How fucking absurd was that?

Now, what might be interesting were we to break down and believe all this stuff about Envy would be the size of the, er, “toy” in question that he found himself negotiating over the use of.

9.5 inches?


But one man’s, uh, “toy”, I guess.

Still, like I wrote before, relegating sexuality to the act being participated in and not the actors would subsequently render everything but standard, missionary position, coitus with, of course, no moaning, as some sort of inherently secretly homosexual ritual.

Blowjobs would be the first things out because anybody could give those.

So would handjobs.

So would girl-on-top.

So would kissing.

In fact, sex itself becomes questionable when you consider the fact that a woman’s clitoris is shaped like a tiny penis and then consider that some women have bigger clits than others.

In fact, it becomes clear that absolutely everything imaginable is now gay including asexuality because the term “gay” itself has now moved away from for being a linear synonym for homosexuality and now is more or less just a derogatory word suggesting “weakness” and what’s weaker than not wanting to fuck a whole lotta hoes?

In fact, wanting to fuck a whole lotta hoes is gay because, that being the case, you’re clearly looking for something that can’t be found in just one woman and perhaps what you’re looking for can’t be found in any woman.

In fact, you know what this whole post has been?

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

Be the first to comment on "DJ Envy Says, “Yes Eye (pun) Can (pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun)!”"

Leave a comment