If you’re a man and you’ve ever seen the movie Barbarella and you didn’t pull your meat like it was a point guard in the fourth quarter of a tight game that had just turned the ball over three straight times, you don’t like girls.
I mean, whether you’re into white girls or not, I’d bet dollars to donuts that even Nat Turner, who famously made a man go back to “finish the job” when he’d heard that one of his henchmen had left a white infant alive in it’s bassinet, woulda said, “Er… not this one.”
Jane Fonda was muhfuccin insane in that movie.
All the juicy shit that we normally don’t attribute to white girls; hips, thighs, ass…
Plus, she manages this perpetual perplexed look on her face that, when coupled with her blonde hair and blue eyes, makes it seem like somebody had just pulled a huge cock outta her mouth after, ahem, leaving a “deposit”.
Truly nice, indeed.
Of course, what Jane Fonda became known for when her acting career started to wane was her now legendary workout vid; her intense workouts themselves having allegedly started because some younger and more naturally perky actress had got her to hating.
And it’s in that vein that I think it’s time that Nicki Minaj should put out a workout vid.
Let’s face it; whether or not the T&A are natural or store bought, the maintenance is certainly something she’s handling on her own unless we’re gonna be mad enough to imagine that she’s constantly in surgery for tummy tucks and lipo.
And it’s that type of thing that people need to see.
And I know, I know, I know, that violates a nearly sacred artistic edict that you should never let ’em see the work, make ’em think it’s all natural, all effortless, but aside from the surefire financial benefits that could be expected from a Nicki Minaj workout video, there are also, well, altruistic motives to consider.
It is, perhaps, the misguided belief in some young girls that money should be saved and then allocated towards buying said hips, tits and ass that has made them either miss or ignore the most important aspect toward looking good: natural self-confidence.
And my money would go towards betting that half the girls that thought they needed fake hips, tits and asses would, after having started along a Nicki Minaj workout, be so pleased with their own natural results that they’d forfeit their initial desires and just get more and more into working out.
Black women get fucked over the hardest by American marketing being that the imagined most basic beauty tenet, white skin, is immediately unavailable to them.
So they do crazy shit like buy heaps of blonde straight hair which makes them look ridiculous.
Meanwhile, fit nappy-headed black bitches are still the baddest things walking and everything else can get bent.
Lastly, former rapper Eve was on some straight bullshit when she knocked Nicki’s Paper Magazine spread as some shit that she wouldn’t do because, I’m guessing, her white husband has made her see some kinda light.
Ho, you was a stripper.
And you wasn’t nowhere near as nice as Nicki as a rapper.
And as for that body Ms. Minaj shows off as if it’s, well, hers, shit, you’re only young once.
In your dotage, having evidence – like a magazine spread – of how hot you once were beats talking about that shit any day of the week.