In a way, I can say that Woody Allen makes me understand white people more than anybody else ever.

Not that his movies give me any insight to them cracker/devil/honkie muhfuccas that I ain’t already had, it’s just that when I consider the fact that I love his movies, am crazy about them shits in fact – he’s my favorite filmmaker and all – and then hafta reconcile that shit with the fact that he might just be a degenerate, dirty, pig, should-be-dead child molester, I do get how YTs can announce shit like slavery was wrong, agree it was wrong, and still put slave masters like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson on money and buildings and bridges and states and districts and whatnot.

And that’s the thing: white people wouldn’t have been one of Washington or Jefferson’s slaves so slavery is just some shit that was incidental to the otherwise overwhelming greatness of their aforementioned heroes.

Niggas – like me – on the other hand, would have been enslaved by one of those hyenas and would have – if I was lucky – killed one of the bastards or escaped.

Thomas Jefferson raped Sally Hemings at least by the time she was 14 because that’s when he took her to France (and don’t try to argue that a scumbag already low enough to own somebody wouldn’t have also started fucking them whenever he wanted because they weren’t “of age”) and George Washington was such a notorious prick as an “owner” that slaves like Hercules and Oney Judge escaped from him whenever they could.

That both of these cocksuckers denounced slavery while owning slaves is interesting.

Like thinking that cigarettes are bad while you’re dying of cancer and lighting up, I guess.

That is, if your cigarettes did all your work and turned a hefty profit for you too.

But, whatever, let’s talk about Woody Allen and not his films even though If I wanted to, I could list, say, Annie Hall, Deconstructing Harry, Bananas, Midnight in Paris, and Bullets Over Broadway and tell you to bring your fave’s Top 5 to the table and let’s see what’s what.

Of issue is the fact that Woody allegedly molested his step-daughter Dylan Farrow.

Now, what is not of issue is the fact that the muhfucca’s a perv.

His current wife Soon-Yi, was once his sorta step-daughter if we’re gonna count his relationship with her adopted mother, Mia Farrow, as a somewhat marriage.

This disgusting degenerate was taking pictures of her half naked if I’m not mistaken and who knows how old she was then.

Woody’s breakup with Mia Farrow as particularly acrimonious.

And a weird thing to consider is the fact that for whatever reason, Mia Farrow went on record in 2013 to suggest that her and Woody’s own biological son, Ronan Farrow, might just actually be the son of her one-time husband Frank Sinatra.

That was an odd stab indeed and one has to wonder if, in her rush to be hurtful, Mia didn’t realize that she reduced her own credibility as the relationship’s victim in pointing out her own infidelity.

Would a woman that would cheat also coach her daughter to lie?

Who knows?

If I knew for sure that Woody was a molester, would I still be a fan?

White people: help me with this one.

Y’all are the ones with experience in that type of shit.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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