How Will Hov Make Zimmerman Die?

Perhaps the smartest thing George Zimmerman ever did in his life was threaten Jay-Z publicly.

That gives him insulation against any “suspicious” deaths.

Like, if the fool should all of a sudden get “carjacked” and end up shot.

Or if he should die in a mysterious “house fire”.

Or if, I dunno, anything, he could drown in a sink.

You know, one of them type deaths Vito Corleone warned better not happen to Michael – my personal fave has always been “Or if he’s struck by a bolt of lightning” – should the rest of the heads of the Five Families plan to rest easy.

The thing is, and this is known; Kanye even fucked up – and forgive me cause I’m about to do it too – that Jay-Z does have killers.

He has Ty Ty who, if we have to use another Godfather reference, is only on a Luca Brasi level; you know, personal security, hand-to-hand conflicts, enforcer of low-level shit.

This is the guy who famously maced R. Kelly.

But on a more serious level – and this is where I feel sorta like a snitch because although this ain’t confirmed, I mean, I don’t know Jay, I only met him once – he orchestrated the murder of Norman Oosterbroek, his and Beyonce’s former bodyguard.

This, of course, can’t be confirmed, but if you had Jay’s cash and you found out some 6’5″ 300lb giant was jacking off over pictures of your wife and daughter, wouldn’t you pay the Florida police to make him go away?

And that’s probably just the tip of the iceberg of Jay’s dubious dealings.

The old Balzac paraphrase holds that behind every great fortune, there’s a great crime and this nigga’s a billionaire.

So, again, it may have indeed been wise for George Zimmerman, furious over the way his family was allegedly “harassed” by the film crew that shot the 6-part documentary on Trayvon Martin, the 17 year-old that Zimmerman murdered, to threaten Jay-Z in a way and forum that any sort of retaliation would be like a divining rod pointing right back to Hov.

That is, if you’re counting on the notion that Jay-Z, being no longer in the streets, has abandoned all street ethos.

Among those are, of course, you can never be robbed; not because being robbed would prove you soft, but because logically, once successfully robbed of anything, nothing you have will go unthreatened.

Jay-Z’s gone on record as saying he’s never been robbed.

There are some insults that are as good as physical violations like, for instance, and I know this is more of a jail thing (as my younger brother taught me) but, a man is allegedly not allowed to suffer another man telling him to “suck his dick”.

And, of course, threats against one’s life must be treated as actual attempts against one’s life.

And trust me, threatening to feed the GOAT MC to “an alligator” represents a threat against his life.

So my money’s on the notion that there’s actually a countdown on ol George Zimmerman’s continued breathing.

I won’t miss him.

As to how Hov’ll do it, God only knows.

I can’t think of a way, but then again, I’m broke.

I’m pretty sure however that with more money, comes more options.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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