Naked Yoga? Yeah, Right

I was just thinking about that scene in one of my least favorite Woody Allen joints, Sleeper, when after Woody’s Miles Monroe wakes up 200 years in the future from when the movie was made (1973), he finds, among other things, that all the men are impotent and for sex, people use something called an “orgasmatron”.

The reason that came to mind was because it occurs to me that if men continue to respond to the bullying that much of the #MeToo movement has become, then that grim scifi-comedy prediction may actually come to pass.

And don’t get me wrong; I mean, a real, live, take-the-pussy rapist should be shot and killed and anybody that threatens your livelihood if you don’t put out should lose his, but I almost miss the days of real feminism.

The days when if you grabbed a chicks ass and she ain’t like it, she slapped the shit outta you and you, being chivalrous and all, took your slap like a man, perhaps laughingly playing it off or even rubbing your face like Jay-Z after an elevator ride with Solange.

Now, in lieu of that real feminism, in lieu of women not only paying lip service to being able to handle any and every situation they could possibly encounter on their own, we have a bunch of women running to the media (as “Daddy”, maybe?) and reporting everything from “inappropriate” comments to bad dates.

And what the cost will be, I’m thinking, won’t be so much (more) MGTOW, but a new bastardized version of masculinity that absolutely nobody will find appealing.

This masculinity won’t be bold or ‘Alpha’ or even confident.

It’ll be meek and apologetic and subservient.

It’ll be worshipful of women, not self-referential and not even in the healthy way, not the old, “Oh, my God! That’s a bad bitch!”, but a new value system that makes all women, from Madonnas to whores some latter species along the evolutionary path.

Naked yoga, nigga! WTF? I mean, this ain’t the first time I’ve read some of your bullshit and the sidetrack seemed to be the point!!!

Yes, of course.

Few things are more evident of this coming apocalypse than the new trend of naked yoga.


You’re welcome.

And the reason I say all that is because in this current age when workout gear has become commercialized fashion, it makes no excuse to have a bunch of naked hoes standing, sitting, squatting and downward dogging around.

I mean, on a level of apparent sexual frustration, naked yoga ranks right up there for women where sex doll whorehouses must rank for men.

Men are, of course, spared from the prospect of thereย ever being some kinda naked gym; homophobia being what it is and the fact that the nude male body don’t offer the avenue for artistic interpretation that the female nude does, unless you agree with Zadie Smith and I’m totally wrong.

But what would bring women out to get naked in a group aside from the sexually frustrated need to have their bodies seen and appreciated by another?

My bet is that almost none of the women that would be or are participating in naked yoga are in committed relationships with persons of the opposite sex.

Cause y’all remember that now infamous Tweet from Ayesha Curry?

That shit ain’t specify genders.

About the Author

Dickie Bhee is a self-styled lunatic, a Renaissance showman, a Class A, Grade A buffoon, a nigga that believes in the greatness of Niggerhood a social gadfly and a genuine Man About Town. Also:

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